Matthew: a red ball is worth a painful death.
me: they’re so shiny
Matthew: and they bounce so high.
not many things bounce like a red ball
1:24 AM the color makes it bounce higher, you know.
me: I will make for you shoes out of red balls.
They’ll be useless, and inflexible.
and I’ll have to pad them
and your feet will have to get used to them
1:25 AM but when they do you’ll go a-bouncing everywhere, which will end badly when you’ve been drinking, but hey, it might be fun on a spring day, might come in use against police officers
and I will say, goddamn it, uribe, you’re making me dizzy
matthew: and i’ll make you keep up with me
me: and you will say, dizzy like my dick!
and we’ll both laugh
1:26 AM except i’ll be both laughing and vomiting
which will look ridiculous
and then we’ll eat potato wedges
and you’ll take off your shoes to get them
and they’ll keep bouncing without you. They will annoy us. They will scare Junebug.
Matthew: yeah but everything scares her.
she’ll get used to it
1:27 AM me: She will. she will learn to love them.
Matthew: she will learn to wear her own pair, which will match her red coat.
1:28 AM me: We’ll take her for walks through Logan Square
and all the other dogs will feel madly inferior
but will be smitten enough to approach
1:29 AM Matthew: and sniff her bottom, and she’ll have none of it, because she’s an awful prude who isn’t comfortable with having sex with anything but my forearm.
me: It’s okay, they’ll just follow us. Follow her, but us too.
And we’ll have this weird troupe of friendly envious dogs all focusing on this red bouncing dog
Matthew: yeah because she’ll be in front of us.
me: yes. Leading us places. Interesting places.
1:30 AM Matthew: places none of us should probably be, but don’t seem really dangerous, but actually are.
1:31 AM me: The best kinds of places.
Places like, hermosa.
Matthew: especially for her, because she is so small.
me: It’s okay. It’ll be like the Hardy Boys, but less stupid.
No overrated quicksand, no sand at all even
or like scooby doo, with better weed
1:32 AM Matthew: more booze. less puzzling mystery and more awe inspiring mystery.
me: Mystery that looks into the heart of the earth
“holy shit, look at that!”
Matthew: that shit looks hot!
me: “can we fuck it?”
1:33 AM Matthew: haha
me: Mystery that might really be felonies in most law-abiding god-fearing states
and then! back to terra firma
before the liquor store closes
Matthew: gotta pick up enough for a nightcap.
me: Sure is.
1:34 AM And luckily with all this nazi gold we’ve found underneath that statue that I love, we’ll be able to buy the good stuff
jameson, son! No more of this soco business for us.