90s Boy

To hear you talk,

you were mostly an accident


skinny legs in a pair of questionable bluejeans

a growth of beard to conceal a nervous jaw


you shot me a look that said

“please don’t make an example of me”


a look that said you’d been chewed on


hoping to appeal to my Florence Nightengale complex


there’s nothing hot about the way you take off your clothes


you peeled away the t-shirts

and offered yourself up shaking

a nervous kid in a man’s musculature

given to wandering off too easily

30 years old wearing 15 awkwardly


I don’t know whence this fascination

I have with the miserable


why I’d want a man

who wears whiskey for cologne


why when the party slowed

I crossed the room to the kitchen

where you were standing

so helpless

and vulnerable


and I decided then and there

to let you break my heart


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