Friday – Lost my debit card.
Saturday – Still without a debit card, lost also: rather expensive bag of cocaine.
Tuesday, 1:10 am – Found bag of cocaine in a drawer I searched eight times and whose contents I dumped onto the floor.
Tuesday, 1:11 am – Found the debit card, wrapped in a receipt, a promotional sticker, and an issue of THE2NDHAND that was on the floor in the scramble but which was put back into the drawer because I thought it being on the floor was disrespectful to the editors.
Tuesday, 1:13 am – Decided to assemble a “Don’t Lose This Sh*t!” Box from an abandoned sneaker box. It contained: my checkbooks, bank information, ledger, Wheel of Fortune tickets, chapstick, keys, money, debit card, tweezers that I always lose at the most inopportune times, and my grandmother’s reform school crucifix which I used to wear all the time but now never do.
Tuesday, 1:37 am – Lost the cocaine which was the impetus for the box.
Tuesday, 1:41 am – Found cocaine, in bathroom.
Tuesday, 1:42 am – Discovered that I had lost the box.
Tuesday, 1:53 am – Found the box in kitchen, but not box top.
Tuesday, 1:54 am – Threw the box, contents and all, at my window and the clothes pile. The contents scattered. Decided that the box was useless, that I was useless and inept. Had a cigarette to calm myself. Contemplated suicide.
Tuesday, 2:08 am – Found the box top.