The idea that human beings need to be better than themselves is one that has been fueling horrible decisions since the very first tinges of guilt. There is this fallacious notion that the way to be better is to deny deny deny, as if the ages old value of honesty somehow flips when applied to oneself. What’s worse is that even though we know how it feels ourselves, we demand it in no small amount from the people that we love the most. We beg the people that we love to change who they are to appease our most unevolved insecurities about ourselves, and if they can’t, we beg them to fake it until they make it. It’s repulsive. The way in which human beings actually become better than the worst things they are is to recognize those things, fully and without bias. There are times that we are hateful, lonely, spiteful, violent, jealous, petty creatures. But rather than admit that, we push it far down into our hearts and carry it around like a secret disease, as it eats away at us. We allow ourselves to be cowards, and we charge one another with ridiculous judgements in the hope that the weaker parts of us will hear our cry and rescind fearfully back. But they don’t. When we go more days without being found out, all that happens is the weak parts of us rejoice. They feel safe. Eventually they take over. The only consequence is that they find ways to slowly creep further and further into our lives as we give them all of the excuses that they need to fester.
When you identify your biases and you look at them without trying to justify your bullshit to yourself, you are more well aware when those feelings pop up. You can be honest with the people that you love as well as yourself. You can tell them: this is something that happens. These are things that I feel. And there is no betrayal. Your intellectual side and your baser side know how to reconcile with one another– they have had millennia to work out a good balance. You will fight for what is right, you will never shrink from what needs to be done, but when your blood boils, you will know mercy. That is the difference between a savage and an evolved human being: balance.