If there is one thing to be said for me, it is that I get myself into stupid relationships a lot. If there are two things to be said for me, it’s that my break-ups are always epic. For a while there, many years after all of that happened, I got accidentally involved in a long-distance, mostly epistolary affair with an extremely talented writer who is married and kind of famous. I wasn’t really planning on it, it just happened to me and then I didn’t know how to stop it. We started sending eachother dirty videos and calling eachother on the phone when we were alone, so one day when he tried to start a webcam chat with me through gmail, I accepted it, and put the laptop in front of a mirror, with the camera facing the mirror. I sat out of frame, at an angle, so I could see his reaction. I watched him stare quizzically at himself in the screen. I watched him think that it was a joke, or some sort of weird new sexy thing I was about to try. I watched him try to go for it anyway, but lose interest. I watched him just kind of watch himself in the screen, this sad, lonely man cheating on his wife of many, many years with some girl at least a decade his junior, a girl who didn’t really like him, a girl with a conscience. After I thought he got the point, I reached back into frame and closed the laptop, so that the video ended abruptly. He never bothered me again.
Sad Truths #16