Forms of ID considered invalid by the State of Illinois, offered to and rejected by me as the night manager of a very popular bar

– a website, showing me the minimum age requirement for a license to practice law in the state of this man’s birth (Alaska), while offering no other proof of this profession except for said website, which was written in Comic Sans. (vehemently argued, much huff/puff)

– an artistic rendering of the ID in question (pastel, brilliantly rendered, approximately 900% the ID’s actual size)

– other human beings (non-identical twin of the opposite gender)

– amusing/heartbreaking anecdotes about the mid-80s (love, loss, catastrophe, death, left all managers on duty visibly shaken,  letter penned to dearly missed man on official bar managerial stationery at end of shift)

– percentage of gray in poorly-kept facial hair (goatee, 30%, premature, probably stress)

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